Jokes

A Chemistry teacher asked a sexy student, “What are NITRATES?
The student replied shyly, “Ma’am, sa motel po.
NITRATES are higher than day rates!”

Usapan ng dalawang mayabang…
Tomas: Ang galing ng aso ko! Tuwing umaga, dala
niya ang dyaryo sa akin.
Diego: Alam ko.
Tomas: Ha? Paano mo nalaman?
Diego: Ikinukuwento sa akin ng aso ko.

WHO’S GUILTY?
Wife dreaming in the middle of the night
suddenly shouts, “Quick, my husband is back!”
Man gets up, jumps out the window and realizes, “Damn! I am the husband!”

Josh: Kumusta ang assignment?
Ricardo: Masama. Wala akong nasagutan. Blank paper ang ipinasa ko.
Josh: Naku, ako rin! Paano ‘yan? Baka isipin
nila, nagkopyahan tayo?!

Toto: Pangarap ko, kumita ng P250,000 monthly gaya ni daddy!
Juvy: Wow! Ganyan kalaki ang kinikita ng daddy mo?
Toto: Hindi! ‘Yan din ang pangarap niya!
Dok: May taning na ang buhay mo.
Juan: Wala na bang pag-asa? Ano po ba ang dapat kong gawin?
Dok: Mag-asawa ka na lang ng pangit at bungangera.
Juan: Bakit, gagaling po ba ako ru’n?
Dok: Hindi, pero mas gugustuhin mo pang mamatay kesa mabuhay!
Lito: Pare, ano ba ang kaibahan ng H2O sa CO2?
Joseph: Diyos ko naman! Di mo ba alam ‘yun?!
Ang H2O ay water! At
ang CO2… cold water.
Gustong malaman ng magkaibigan kung may basketbolan sa langit.
Nagkasundo sila na kung sino ang unang mamatay ay babalik upang
sabihin kung may basketbol sa langit.
Naunang namatay si Dado.
Isang gabi, may narinig na boses si Rodel na parang kay Dado.
“Ikaw ba ‘yan, Dado?” usisa ni Rodel.
“Oo naman!” tugon ni Dado.
“Parang hindi totoo!” bulalas ni Rodel.”O,ano, meron bang basketbol sa langit?”
Sagot ni Dado, “May maganda at masama akong
balita sa ‘yo. Ang maganda, may basketbol doon. Ang masama…
kasali ka sa makakalaban namin bukas!” (ngek!)

Usapan ng dalawang bata…
Junjun: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam mo, ‘yang
Pacific Ocean , siyaang humukay nun!
Pedrito: Wala ‘yan sa tatay ko! Alam mo ‘ yungDead Sea ?
Junjun: Oo…
Pedrito: Siya ang pumatay nun!

Stewardess: Do you want a drink, sir?
Sir: What are my choices?
Stewardess: Yes or No.

Misis: Hindi ko na kaya ‘to! Araw-araw nalang tayong nag-aaway
Mabuti pa, umalis na ako sa bahay na ‘to!
Mister: Ako rin, sawang-sawa na! Away rito,away roon! Mabuti pa
siguro, sumama na ako sa ‘yo!

Misis: Delayed ako nang one month pero huwag mo munang
ipagsabi.Nahihiya ako…
Mister: Okey.
Kinabukasan, dumating ang taga-Meralco. ..
Taga-Meralco: Misis, delayed po kayo ng onemonth.
Misis: Ha? Bakit mo alam?
Taga-Meralco: Nasa record po.
Mister: Bakit Naka-record diyan na delayed ang misis ko?
Taga-Meralco: Kung gusto ninyong mawala sarecord, magbayad kayo!
Mister: Eh kung ayokong magbayad?
Taga-Meralco: Puputulan kayo!
Mister: Eh anong gagamitin ni misis?
Tag-Meralco: Pwede naman siyang gumamit ng kandila.

Advantage at disadvantage ng may-asawa…
ADVANTAGE: ‘Pag kailangan mo, nandiyan agad.
DISADVANTAGE: ‘Pag ayaw mo na, andiyan parin!

What is the difference between a girlfriend,a call girl and a wife?
Sagot: Post paid, pre paid, unlimited.
Sa isang classroom…
Titser: Class, what is ETHICS?
Pilo: Etiks are smaller than ducks.
Titser: Okey, that duck will lay an egg in your card.

Juan: Pare, noong mayaman pa kami, nagkakamay
kaming kumain. Ngayong
mahirap na kami, nakakutsara na.
Pedro: Baligtad yata?
Juan: Mahirap kamayin ang lugaw, pare!

Anak: Itay, nagpapatanong si ma’am kung ano
raw ang propesyon mo.
Itay: Sabihin mo, cardiologist.
Anak: Ano po ba ang cardiologist, Itay?
Itay: ‘Yung tagaayos ng radio sa car!

Umuwi si mister nang 4:00 AM at nakita niya
ang kanyang misis na may
katalik na lalaki sakama…
Misis: (sumigaw) SAAN KA GALING?!
Mister: Sino ‘yang katabi mo?
Misis: GRABE KA! HUWAG MONG IBAHIN ANGUSAPAN!

Rodrigo: Bakit bad trip ka?
Harry: Nagtampo sa ‘kin ang utol ko.
Rodrigo: Bakit naman?
Harry: Nakalimutan ko kasi ang birthday niya.
Rodrigo: ‘Yun lang? Anong masama ru’n?
Harry: Ang masama ru’n… twins kami! Twins!

Advertisements

Wishlist

Hey guys its time for you to buy me gifts…. ehehehee

🙂

My wish list are, according to priority. heheheheh

1. Traveling bag
2. Headphones / Headset
3. Black / White Tshirt with a music band printed on the back/front
4. Sunglasses
5. Coffee Mug

Aight? You have not to buy em all, Just choose one.

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Don’t You Fake It)

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Don’t You Fake It)1. In FateΓ??s Hands

2. Waiting
3. False Pretense
4. Face Down
5. Misery Loves Its Company
6. Cat and Mouse
7. Damn Regret
8. Atrophy
9. Seventeen AinΓ??t So Sweet
10. Justify
11. Your Guardian Angel
12. Grim Goodbye (Hidden Track)
Direct Torrent Download Link: The_Red_Jumpsuit_Apparatus_(Dont_You_Fake_It)

“About the Artist”

THE RED JUMPSUIT APPARATUS Ronnie Winter Γ?? lead vocals Elias Reidy Γ?? guitar, vocals Duke Kitchens Γ?? guitar, vocals Joey Westwood Γ?? bass, vocals Jon Wilkes Γ?? drums, vocals

WhatΓ??s in a name? Well, it depends who came up with it. In the case of Middleburg, Florida quintet The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, it might mean anything.

Strange then that The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus meansΓ?ªabsolutely nothing. “ItΓ??s 100 percent completely arbitrary,” laughs singer Ronnie Winter. “When we started the band, we only cared about having a good time and writing good songs far more than coming up with some symbolic, incredibly intelligent name.”

“I think itΓ??s funny when bands scramble their brains to try and come up with some unique, untouchable band name,” adds guitarist Elias Reidy. “Why waste time thinking of something when we could be concentrating on music instead? The locals loved it, so we went with it.”

A brief listen to The Red Jumpsuit ApparatusΓ?? debut and itΓ??s obvious that these boys have spent a lot of time concentrating on their music. Their songs are flush with the determination, hunger and energy of youth (the average age in the band is 21). And while they tap into elements of pop-punk, pop, screamo, and metal, they combine them in a way thatΓ??s both surprising and invigorating

Winter and Kitchens formed The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus in 2003 just for kicks. For 18 months they wrote and rehearsed with no real intention of playing shows or recording an album. When some friends who heard them jam suggested they play out, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus started booking gigs and were immediately embraced by the local scene. “We played this place called The Art Bar twice, and the second time we played it, we sold it out,” Winter says.

Encouraged by the response, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus contacted the owner of a local studio to see if they were ready to start recording. When the response was a resounding yes, they recorded their first EP, using it to promote themselves wherever they could Γ?? online and at local concerts, high schools, colleges, malls, beaches and other locations across Florida.

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus entered the studio last year with producer David Bendeth, who has previously worked with Hawthorne Heights and Breaking Benjamin.

There may have been a time when they didnΓ??t know if they were ready to be heard, but those days are gone, and now theyΓ??re eager to tour the world and beyond with the conviction that, when your music speaks so eloquently, who cares whatΓ??s in a name?

Enjoy!!!!

50ul }{4ck3r

Direct Torrent Download Link:

The_Red_Jumpsuit_Apparatus_(Dont_You_Fake_It)

Maroon 5 Won’t Go Home Without You Lyrics

I asked her to stay but she wouldn’t listen
She left before I had the chance to say
Oh
The words that would mend the things that were broken
But now it’s far too late, she’s gone away

Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking: “Why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?”
Hard to believe that

It’s not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won’t go home without you

The taste of her breath, I’ll never get over
The noises that she made kept me awake
Oh
The weight of things that remain unspoken
Built up so much it crushed us everyday

Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking: “Why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?”
Hard to believe that

It’s not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won’t go home without you

It’s not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won’t go home without you

Of all the things I felt but never really shown
Perhaps the worst is that I ever let you go
I should not ever let you go, oh oh oh

It’s not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won’t go home without you

It’s not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won’t go home without you
And I won’t go home without you
And I won’t go home without you
And I won’t go home without you

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – Your Guardian Angel

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can’t replace
And now that I’m stronger I’ve figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I’ll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I’ll stand up with you forever
I’ll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It’s ok. It’s ok. It’s ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I’ll be the one

I will never let you fall
I’ll stand up with you forever
I’ll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

[ The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus – Your Guardian Angel lyrics on https://rockmanx.wordpress.com%5D

Cuz you’re my, you’re my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don’t throw that away
Cuz I’m here for you
Please don’t walk away,
Please tell me you’ll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I’ll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I’ll stand up with you forever
I’ll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus- Face Down

Title: Face Down
Artist: The Red Jumpsuit Aparatus

Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
One look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I’ll never understand why you hang around
I see what’s going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
Tell yourself it’s never gonna happen again
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I’ll tell you my friend, one day this world’s going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
Every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what’s going down.

I see the way you go and say your right again,
Say your right again
Heed my lecture
[ Face Down lyrics found on https://rockmanx.wordpress.com ]

Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I’ll tell you my friend, one day this world’s going to end
As your lies crumble down a new life she has found.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn’t hurt she says I finally had enough..
Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn’t hurt she says I finally had enough..

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
Its coming round again.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I’ll tell you my friend, one day this world’s going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I’ll tell you my friend, one day this world’s going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn’t hurt she says I finally had enough..

[ Face Down lyrics found on https://rockmanx.wordpress.com ]